It's two days before Christmas and I am not feeling it one bit. In fact I am in the most foul mood and giving off some strong negative energy. It's so bad that last night we got together to jam, and I didnt play a note. I just sat out in the hall and tuned my drums.
My jam pad roomie played his kit and sat in with the guys. They played for two hours while I sat out in the hall and just did my own thing. I just cant seem to shake the bad mojo.
The tension between me and wife is at an all time high. I dont even want to talk to her because I know it will turn into a fight. The house is messy, the yard was a mess and my nerves are pulled to the point that they are gonna snap. Me and my oldest son raked the yard and that still didnt burn off my aggressions.
So as I type this and reread the first three paragraphs, the first thing that jumps out as to the possible cause is that I havent made a meeting in a couple of weeks. I've been sober long enough to know what the deal is pertaining to consistant meetings. I just choose to be lazy and not want to go to any meetings. Life is what it is. I cant change it, so the only thing I can do is change me. If I dont keep that in mind and get my ass back to a regular meeting schedule, I'll be drunk again.
I think the other part to my problem is that we arent going home for Christmas. Both of our families are still recovering from the hurricane, and we dont want to go down there and add to the stress they are already dealing with. My parents especially are having a rough time. There are 7 adults living in my parents 3 br home. Some have medical conditions and my mom is running around trying to be superhuman and take care of every little problem.
My inlaws got some of their house ripped away by the hurricane. They were fortunate. As they live one block off the gulf beach, most homes south of theirs were totally destroyed. There was a cargo ship deposited on the other side of my inlaws house. Another 100 feet and it would have crushed their house.
Anyway....I'm not festive. Just call me Mr. Grinch.