Happy Sunday morning.. Not alot going on here. The new job is OK and things are motoring right along here under the big top at the psycho circus.
The down side to all of this that I continue to not have gratitude for everything. My attitude is shit and I cant stand to be around me. My job doesn't really interest me, my motorcycle doesn't relieve my stress and my personal motivation is non existent.
I have become physically weak, un-motivated and clearly lazy. I haven't picked up a guitar in months and I've only seen the inside of a gym one time in the past 4 months. I MUST SHAKE THIS FUCKING PATHETIC "WHOA IS ME" ATTITUDE.
I just don't understand why I feel this way. I have NOTHING in my life that should make me feel this way. I have a great wife who takes care of me and my family, I have 3 healthy kids, I have a well paying job and we are doing well financially. There is just no reason for me to feel like this.
I want to go to Vegas. I don't know why, but I have an urge to take my wife to Vegas. Maybe a weekend there will boost my spirit.
Stay tuned....
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1 comment:
its a mid life thing, or maybe a bit of depression,I feel the same way most of the time. I think your just trying to adjust to civilian life! You NEED your music. Get that guitar out and write a sad depressing song, then BURN IT...bang on some drums, I hope you get feeling better. It lasted forever with me. It is a constant effort to have good thoughts for me. Not to dwell on negative stuff. of course the troll~ings keep me plenty busy and worried...feel better soon I hope...
Mom
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